TV/Film Scripts
(Click on the link for scripts)
The Landlords - A Horror Movie (in post-production) [Andrew Thorp]
Neighborhood Watch! - A Sitcom Pilot Outline [Andrew Thorp]
Improvisations of The Heart - Romantic Comedy Film Outline [Andrew Thorp]
First Theater To Your Right - A Sitcom Pilot Outline [Andrew Thorp]
April Fools Day - A Horror Short [Andrew Thorp]
Beer Commercial Spoof [Andrew Thorp]
Mobile Bartending Commercial Spoof [Andrew Thorp]
Taylor Loves Jo and Leaf Village is Decaying - A Stage Musical [Andrew Thorp]
Written Sketch
The George Foreman Grill and Bar (Parody) [Andrew Thorp]
Chicago Cops Teaching a Kid the Ropes (Center and Eccentrics /Parody [Andrew Thorp]
Leppy The Leprechaun: Female Leppys exist! (character comedy) [Andrew Thorp]
Julian Assange Interview (topical) [Andrew Thorp]
Don't Ask Don't Tell - Hillbilly Style (topical) [Andrew Thorp]
Grandpa Might Be a Vampire (Center and Eccentrics) [Andrew Thorp]
Drunken Dentistry (Character Comedy) [Andrew Thorp]
Moms and Kittens Die Sometimes (Father/Son scene) [Andrew Thorp]
A Familiar Scene About Homecoming (Ensemble Comedy / Center and Eccentrics) [Andrew Thorp]
Making Varsity (Ensemble Comedy) [Andrew Thorp]
A Vain Procedure (Center and Eccentics /Ensemble Comedy) [Andrew Thorp]
Closing The Deal In The Locker Room (Center and Eccentrics) [Andrew Thorp]
Wingmen (Character Comedy) [Andrew Thorp]
The Hawaiian Girl From 15 Years Ago (Fish out of Water) [Andrew Thorp]
Stand-up to Drugs! (Character Piece) [Andrew Thorp]
Domestic Abuse is Only Funny When Monsters are Involved (Ensemble Comedy) [Andrew Thorp]
Payback: A Christmas Story (Topical) [Andrew Thorp]
Sex-Ed is Sad For Mr. Taskins (Character Comedy) [Andrew Thorp]
Back-up Drummers Get No Love (Satirical) [Andrew Thorp]
Romeo Gets A Check-up (Character Comedy) [Andrew Thorp]
These Guys Hate The English (Character Comedy) [Andrew Thorp]
Divorce And The Internet (Snowball Effect) [Andrew Thorp]
Cheating and Slow Motion Fighting (Ensemble Comedy) [Andrew Thorp]
Selling Cats (Character Comedy) [Andrew Thorp]
Improv Workshop for Doctors with Bad News (Fish out of Water) [Andrew Thorp]
Short Stories
Victoria and the Enemy - A small town loner invents new ways to keep the squirrels at bay. Outline -Short Story [Andrew Thorp]
Jokes, Quips, and Quotes
I used to think that being 'grandfathered in' meant you had to have sex with an old man.
I used to sell weed to middle school kids. I quit, though. I got sick of being paid in Lunchables. I gained like 20 pounds slangin. Now thats thug.
When we were kids, there weren't fancy medications for us. But we could still excel. The kid with ADHD might not be able to focus on his homework but he would kick your ass in musical chairs.
I started hating school when they took away the pledge of allegiance. Then, all we had left was the ‘Happy Birthday’ song. How are you supposed to waste valuable class time when you only got to sing that a few times a month?
I drank so much last night, I woke up feeling like pigeons had sex in my mouth.
I love my girlfriend so much, I found her journal and read about the first guy that broke her heart. I found him, punched him, and then thanked him for not continuing to have sex with her.
Making peanut butter and jelly sandwiches always reminds me of how impatient I am. SMOOTH THE FUCK OUT PEANUT BUTTER I GOT SHIT TO DO!
I think Chicago pays too much attention to the death toll and not enough to the shooting toll. Just because shooters have bad aim one year, doesn't mean that we should feel any more safe.
Winter makes me never want to take my pants off. It makes me think Eskimo sex must be a grand affair.
Sometimes, I wish I had a serious disease just to know that someone is running a marathon for me.
I get heart burn if I eat too close to bedtime. So I started going to be too hours later because ice cream was too good.
I left my girlfriend a casual encounter post under M2M just in case she likes to rollplay.
I am so hungover, Andrew can't stop talking in the third person.
I never realized how great salt is. I finally put salt on an omelet I made and it was so delicious. Now, I feel like all of the eggs of my past were just a waste of time.
Homeless people are a lot like bad blowjobs; it's hard to be nice after you encounter the third one.
I take cardio kickboxing class to learn how not to fight.
My Mom smokes a lot of pot which is good for me because it's hard for her to guilt me in to doing things when she can't stop giggling about it.
It's hard to take the right amount of a drug. You either don't get the desired effect or the desired effect rapes your brain wrinkles.
I don't see why the military is trying to keep gay people out. Once gays have their minds set on doing something, they are going to do it. Ever see 'Cats'?
My ex never respected the amount of thought i put into gifts. For Valentines day, I borrowed a picture of her as a kid in the bathtub naked. I blew the photo up and had it printed on two t-shirts, one for each of us.
I also made a necklace out of her old retainer so she could always carry her youth.
I am so paranoid that I am learning Spanish just to know if Mexicans are talking shit about me.
Tupperware parties have been replaced with Botox parties. Same plastics, different methods of preservation.
I have to stop drinking because my drunk-walk is freaking out my cat. Who knew that intoxicated stumbling confuses cats into thinking of us as potential predators.
Coke is stupid. Why would I spend all of that money when all I have to do is buy a leather coat and be an asshole?
I heard one MMA guy say to another "Choke day is always an interesting day". I don't know if he was talking about practice or Date Night with his girlfriend.
I was sad to realize that I am at that age in which I should be bringing food dishes to family holiday parties. Grandma isn't buying the MS routine anymore.
I wish everything was measured like old school alcohol. I will have two fingers of bourbon and one baby-teet of cola please. Thank you.
My dad was a lot cooler when he always got drunk. Ever since he ‘went on the wagon’ he isn’t nearly as much fun to hang out with. Instead of “let’s go to the strip club” it’s "how is your job treating you", or instead of “I totally fish taco’d that girls cleavage” it’s “it's nice to see your happy”? GROW A PAIR DAD!
