A scene about breaking up...

Divorce
Andrew Thorp

Joe and Tony eat eggs at a small diner.

Joe
I am getting a divorce.

Tony
A divorce?

Joe
We both decided yesterday.

Tony
About fucking time.

Tony grabs his phone and starts dialing.

Joe
What are you doing?

Tony
Calling my Grandma. Grandma? Remember my friend Joe? He is finally getting a divorce!

Joe
Your grandma?

Tony
I know. She was such a bitch, Grandma. Well, I am with him now. I will call you later. My Grandma says congrats.

Joe
I have never even met your grandma, Tony.

Tony
Yeah you have. You are facebook friends.

Joe
Oh, that's your grandma?

Tony
She hates Sarah’s updates. Always blabbing about how great her kids are-

Joe
- We are still married, Tony. It isn't going to be easy. Who are you calling now?

Tony
Uncle Jim! You remember Joe, right? Yeah, the one with the shitty wife (to Joe) he hated her. They are finally getting a divorce! Two kids. I don't know, I will ask. (To Joe) My Uncle wants to know if you need a place to stay.

Joe
Well, we are working that - who in the fuck is your uncle?

Tony
They are working it out, Uncle Joe. I will keep you posted. That's what I said! See you bowling.

Joe
Tony, I am a little weirded out that you are calling your family about my divorce.

Tony
They love you.

Joe
I don't know them.

Tony

Either way, we are here for you, man. You need anything, you name it.

Joe
It is hard, you know? You love someone with all of your heart. You have kids, start a family, and you both seem to change. You start to feel real guilty that your feelings change, but you have to put yourself first. You have to be happy-

Tony
- Ha! My boss from the shop just tweeted that you were way to good for her. Anybody would agree.

Joe
Will you quit with the phone, Tony?

Tony
Sorry.

Joe
You don't understand the complexities of this thing. We have kids. We have to work this out with them. I am going to have some judge telling me when I can see my kids and when I can't. I am going to go in debt trying to pay for a fucking lawyer. Where am I going to live? Some shitty two bedroom that I can't afford because I am already paying an arm and a leg for child support?

Tony
Yeah.

Joe
It's kind of a pivotal point in my life I , guess

Tony
You know me, Joe. I don't know much about these kinds of things, but know that I will do anything I can to help. I can't say that enough.

Joe
Thanks, Tony. I don't even know what I need right now. My head is swirling, that's for sure. How about we just pay our bill and get some fresh air.

Tony
Sure thing. I got this one.

Joe
No, Tony, I can pay for my omelette.

(A trampy looking girl enters, looking around awkwardly)

Tony
No, I meant her.

Joe
Her what, Tony?

Tony
A quick search on Craigslist can go a long way.

Joe
I told you four minutes ago, Joe!

Tony
The internet moves quick. Nikita? Over here.


(Lights)