Breaking Up In a Restaurant

Take-Out
Andrew Thorp

(Jo and Ken sit at a table, food in front of them)

JO
Nothing in common, to be honest.

KEN
Nothing?

JO
I wish we did.

KEN
Wish?

JO
It would make it easier, wouldn’t it?

KEN
For who? You think this was easy for me?

JO
Honestly?

KEN
Yes.

JO
I don’t care.

KEN
Fucking bitch.

JO
Still.

KEN
Now what?

JO
I guess you leave?

KEN
Me? I brought you to this place. I introduced you to this place.

JO
And I like it.

KEN
Well, too bad.

JO
Yeah?

KEN
So?

JO
I don’t think so.

KEN
What?

JO
Well, John.

KEN
What about him?

JO
He likes me. He would probably rather you go.

KEN
It doesn’t fucking matter. I introduced you.

JO
What does that have to do with me?

KEN
Fucking bitch.

JO
And I repeat.

KEN
Who does this like that?

JO
I guess me. I don’t mean to. But I do.

(JOHN Enters)

JOHN
Did you call for me?

JO
No. Not really.

KEN
Jo just broke up with me, John.

JOHN
On no.

JO
Yeah.

JOHN
You two are my favorite customer.

KEN
That is what we are fighting about.

JO
Who gets to stay.

JOHN
Both of you are always welcome here.

KEN
That isn't going to work-

JO
-Not possible, I am afraid.

KEN
I think you have to pick JOHN.

JOHN
Can we sprit up the day? Ken, you get Monday, Wednesday, and Friday-

JO
That won't work.

KEN
It's more of a pride issue than anything.

JOHN

(Singing to the audience)

Being a restaurant owner, it can be so hard.
What would life like if I didn't have this Job? Woah-oh-oo-oah.

KEN
JOHN, you gotta pick, bro.

JOHN
I pick Jo. Pretty single girls attract more customer. Sorry.

KEN
Damn!

JO
Yes!

(Lights)