I don't know how you remember your relatives...

Grandpa

Andrew Thorp

8/17/2009

v.2

Cast

Mom: 40’s

Dad: 40’s

Johnny: Mom and Dad’s son. Preteen

Grandpa: 80’s. Old Country. Dying. Dracula like?

Mom
Get in there and say goodbye to your dying Grandpa, Johnny.

Johnny
He scares me.

Mom
That is your Grandpa, Johnny. You do not say that about Grandpa on my carpet. (Cries)

Dad
He fought for this country, boy. Show him some respectacles. That's respect for the huge balls he has for saving American lives.

Johnny
Okay

(As Johnny walks to the door, the lights get weird and Johnny’s heartbeat can be heard. Mom's line “You don't say that about your Grandpa.” and Dad's “ Show him some respectacles.” keep repeating. He stumbles as he goes. He opens the door and it slowly creaks open. Grandpa is in a bed, asleep. Johnny walks in and sits by him. There is a silence as Johnny begins to get comfortable.)

Grandpa
Johnny!

Johnny
Ah!

Grandpa
I saw Satan just now.

Johnny
Hi Grandpa.

Grandpa
Did your Mom tell you what the Doctor said?

Johnny
No.

Grandpa
He said I can beat the heart disease if I could just get new veins for my heart. My veins, you see, Johnny, are too old. But, new veins could save me. You know where they have new veins, Johnny? In little boys.

(Grandpa motions for Johnny to come closer. Johnny does.)

Grandpa
In little boys, like you!

Johnny
Ah!

Grandpa

Give Grandpa your veins, Johnny. Give Grandpa your veins so I can live!

(Johnny runs out of the room to a mother that is still crying.)

Dad
What the hell is going on?

Johnny
Grandpa wants my veins.

Dad
Grandpa! In which war did you protect our country?

Grandpa

The second one!

Dad

Ten hut! Now, you get down there and be a grateful American, scout, or I will show you Grandpa's pictures of him and all the dead he killed.

Mom

(Crying)

Not on the carpet.

Johnny

Okay

(The heartbeat, strobe, etc. starts again. Mom is saying 'Burber' and Dad plays a militant song on the gazoo. Johnny sits and Grandpa isn’t moving. Long silence.)

Grandpa
Johnny!

Johnny
Ah!

Grandpa
That time I just wanted to scare you. That's for not helping Grandpa live. Some people help other people not be in pain. Have you ever been in pain , Johnny?

Johnny
Yes.


Grandpa
My pain hurts, Johnny. I can’t stand up, it's hard to breath, my face goes numb every time I get an erection. Could you imagine?

Johnny
No.

Grandpa
You can help me end the pain, Johnny. You can be a hero. Just like your Grandpa. You see this pillow?

Johnny
Yes.

Grandpa
You take this pillow, Johnny, and you put it on my face. If you push hard enough, it will help me
not feel pain anymore. Would you like that?

Johnny
No.

Grandpa
I would like that Johnny and that's what matters. I'm the one with the purple heart. All you have is milk mustache. Do it or I will tell your parents you like boys.

(Slowly and reluctantly, Johnny takes this pillow.)

Grandpa
Now, put it in my face Johnny. And push real hard. It will be over before you know it.

(Slowly and reluctantly Johnny does. Grandpa cues him as his voice is muffled. Grandpa starts to struggle as the strobes and
heartbeat start again. Grandpa stops struggling.)

Johnny
I am sorry Grandpa. I love you.

(He hugs Grandpa. Silence.)

Grandpa
Johnny!

Johnny
Ah!

(Johnny runs out of the room)

Grandpa
Grow some balls! Haha!

(Lights)