Andrew
Thorp
6.15.09
Version #2
Cast
Bob - Jimmy's Dad
Jimmy – Preteen. Smug
Jim the Turtle
Birdy
Fish
Toady and Frog
(Jimmy and Bob sit with fishing poles that hold large styrophome bobbers at the end. During the course of the scene, they cast bobbers into the audience. Bob is, now, preparing the poles)
Bob
Now, the one majorly important thing you have to remember, when fishing, Jimmy, is have fun!
Jimmy
Lame.
Bob
When I was a tadpole like you, your Grandpa used to bring me out here every weekend. There was always something nature taught us.
Jimmy
Retarded.
(Bob casts and a 'boink' sound effect is heard.)
Jimmy (Cont’d)
Stupid.
Bob
Why don’t you give your pole the old cast-a-roo, Jimmy.
Jimmy
I’m gonna play DS.
Bob
As soon as you flick your pole, the magic happens
JIMMY
What magic?
BOB
The magic of waiting! Not doing a thing in the world but sitting in a boat and waiting. Sounds fun, huh?
Jimmy
Super Gay.
(Jimmy hands Bob his pole.)
Bob
Why don’t you give her a try, Jimmy. For good ol’ Grandpa.
Jimmy
Fine.
(Jimmy casts carelessly and it plops close by.)
Bob
Way to go, Jimbo! All right! That’s the spirit.
(Jimmy goes back to his video game)
Bob (Cont’d)
Now, the key is to be extra quiet. You don’t want to scare nature away.
(While Jimmy continues to play DS, a world of activity begins. Fish swim by and wave. Ducks ‘Quack’ As they pass and wave to BOB. Jim the Turtle enters from behind audience. With every step, Jim makes sounds)
Jim the Turtle
Dup da Dup da Dup da Dup.
(Jim the Turtle sees Bob. He stops for a second and then waves. Bob waves back. Bob tries to silently get Jimmy’s attention but Jimmy is mesmerized by the game.)
Jim The Turtle
Hiya, Bob! Long time no see da-dup!
BOB
Hi Jim the Turtle! This is my son.
JIM THE TURTLE
Seems like he doesn’t care much about nature.
BOB
Well, you know, kids these days!
JIM THE TURTLE
Okay, Bob, da dup. I will see you later.
(As Turtle leaves, a pair of toads appear and come close to Bob.)
Toady
Hey Bob.
Fro
Yeah, hey, Kriiiiiike.
TOADY
No reason to mock me.
Fro
Yeah, no reason to mock him, Kriiiiiike.
BOB
Hi guys. How’s the old Happy river treating you?
TODAY
Not bad. Freaking Catfish still think they run the place.
FRO
Catfish, Kriiiike.
TOADY
On my last Nerve, this one is.
BOB
Nothing changes, huh?
TOADY
Nothing does.
FRO
Yeah,-
TOADY
-Zip it. I have had just about enough of you. What’s up with the kid, Bob? Seems like a real dud.
BOB
That’s my boy. He is playing video games. It’s all the rage.
TOADY
It looks bad for the eyes. Gotta go, Bob. That big eagle is coming. Tell your kid to get a life or somethin.
Fro
Yeah, get a life, Kriiiiiike.
TOADY
I told you I was gonna drop you off at the pad if you kept that crap up and I meant it.
(Toady and Fro hop off just as a screeching is heard and Eagle flies down from above. He screeches again.)
BOB
Hiya baldy!
EAGLE
Screech.
BOB
Well that’s nice to hear. Give the young bride my best.
EAGLE
Screech.
BOB
That’s my son.
EAGLE
SCREECH
(EAGLE descends low enough to snatch Jimmy’s DS and he slowly ascends until he is off stage after one last screech. Jimmy is petrified)
BOB (Cont’d)
He can be a little cranky sometimes.
JIMMY
That was an eagle, Dad.
BOB
That’s right son, a real eagle. Now, I think it’s time we had a little talk. A talk about where babies come from.
(Lights)
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