Mr.Taskins fights back

I Can Be in a Rock Band: Mr. Taskins

Andrew Thorp

8/23/2009

Mr. Taskins holds a guitar. As he plays, it becomes obvious that he isn’t very good. The italicized lyrics are soft and the bold lyrics are loud.

Mr. Taskins

Hi guys. Some of you may know me as the Middle School Educator on Sexual Relations. But, today, I am just a guy at a coffee shop playing a song. This song is called ‘I Can Be a Rock Star Too’. This one goes out to my ex-wife, the woman who ripped my heart from my chest and gave me gonorrhea.

Sarah stands from the audience

SARAH

I hate you, Dad

Sarah exits

Mr. Taskins

Yeah, I know.

“ So, you want a man that can make you dance. A man that can make you move.

Who really wants a man that can provide for you and always be honest and true?

I can rock! I can Rock like a Billy Goat

I can rock! Rock until I get scabs in my throat!

I can wear tight leather pants.

And get a cool snake tattoo.

I can drink until the morning light and tell the world fuck you.

And I can Rock! I can Rock just like Cheap Trick!

I can rock! I can rock and drop acid in the hole of my dick!

So, maybe, when you get married again

And ruin some other guy’s life

Remember that I can rock real hard

And have a new and better wife.

You suck Patricia Cohen.

Thank you.

(JOHNNY stands and speaks as he leaves)

JOHNNY

You suck, Dad.

Mr. Taskins

See you on Saturday, John.

(Lights)