T.V is for the Clowns...

T.V.

Andrew Thorp

6/28/2009

Amanda is watching a clown on T.V. The Clown exits through the screen and starts begins performing magic tricks.

AMANDA
Dad. The T.V is acting funny.

POPS (Offstage)

What do you want me to do about it?

AMANDA
Fix it.

POPS (O.S)

Give me a bloody scabbin’ minute, Amanda.

(The clown mimics POPS. AMANDA laughs.)

POPS (O.S)

(under his breath)

For the love of Jesus. Can’t get a finagling thing done…

(As POPS voice gets closer, the Clown Dives back in the T.V. POPS enters)

POPS (cont’d)

Now, what’s wrong?

AMANDA
The T.V was funny.

POPS
What do you mean, funny? What’s wrong with the God blessed thing?

AMANDA
The Clown. He came out.

(As POPS delivers his next line, the clown in the T.V. starts to mimic him.

POPS

Amanda, I gotta fix the Jee-Hiving Dishwasher before your Mom gets back from Church. If I don’t get this fixed, I am not gonna hear the end of it for blooming week.

AMANDA

(Laughs)

POPS

Now, you are testing my god-given patience, young lady.

AMANDA

I’m sorry Dad.

(As POP exits, Clown starts to come out. There is a see-saw relationship as POPS almost leaves and comes back to speak.)

POPS

(comes back)

Aw, Jeez, you know I love you, Amanda.

AMANDA

I know.

POPS

(Comes back)

And I want you to be happy.

AMANDA

I know.

POPS
I will be in the kitchen making lunch.

AMANDA

Okay.

(POPS leaves and the clown exits the T.V. and performs a couple more tricks. The tricks become more dangerous. One of the tricks the clown does involves plates. The Clown fails in catching them during a trick and everything crashes to the ground. The Clown dives into the T.V. just as POPS runs back in_

POPS

What in Christmas is happening in here?

AMANDA

It wasn’t me, Dad.

POPS
Those are your Mom’s favorite china, Amanda Scott.

AMANDA

I didn’t do it.

POPS

You better get yourself a broom right now and clean up this mess Young Missy. And that’s an order.

AMANDA

But I didn’t do it, Dad. I swear.

POPS

I have had it up to here with your gamey-games, spud. You march in that kitchen and get to broomin’.

(The Clown tosses a broom from the T.V.)

POPS (Cont’d)

What the Holy fire?

(POPS turns to the T.V. The Clown keeps performing as in front of a camera.)

POPS (Cont’d)

You see that?

AMANDA

Uh-huh.

POPS (Cont’d)
What the Gangrene is going on in here.

(POPS knocks on the TV screen and it is a solid screen.)

POPS
Head on out to the car, Amanda. I think we need to get some fresh air.

(The Clown grabs POPS waist and POPS jumps away and turns around. The Clown squirts water at POPS. AMANDA uses the remote to change the channel. Thriller begins playing and a character resembling a dead Michael Jackson (1958-2009) appears. Pops and Amanda cream and run offstage. Sorry about the reference. Something deep inside made me do it )